1. Personal Commitment
If you want to influence other people and impact social situations, you need to first work on your relationship with yourself. Because every ounce of psychological power you have… comes from inside you. If you don’t believe you have power, you will not influence the lives of others. But if you can cultivate a strong sense of self… you can project the kind of power that other people listen to and respect.
Often, your personal power begins with a choice. Will you take responsibility for your actions, good or bad? Successor failure? Unless you’re willing to stand behind everything you do and say, you will be dismissed. You will be lumped into the vast majority of people who talk and act, not to represent their individual selves, but to meet expectations, gain popularity, and satisfy social norms. If you want to gain power, commit to your decisions. Empower your individuality. Show others that you aren’t afraid to take risks and make mistakes. Because commitment and responsibility generate a kind of power other people will always respect.
2. Power People
Who do you spend most of your time with? Think about your closest friends, partners, and mentors. All of these people influence your thoughts, goals, and lifestyle. For example, if your closest friend maintains a slew of unhealthy habits, you’re more likely to develop a similar routine. But the same thing is true for inspiring, high-performing people. If you spend time with a friend who is ambitious and motivated, their go-getting spirit will positively impact your life.
You need to choose the right people to surround you day after day. Their influence is critical for your confidence, motivation, and self-esteem. In fact, you unconsciously gain psychological power by simply spending time with more ambitious people. So, take a hard look at your social circle. How do they view their lives and careers? What are their attitudes toward the future? Are they motivated and hard-working? If the answer is no, it may be time to meet new, more powerful people — people who lift you up instead of bringing you down.
Because a strong social circle is necessary to not only find success but build influence and psychological power. You need people who you respect and who respect. People who want the best for you, just like you want the best for them. Of course, distancing yourself from less-motivating people can be hard. It’s not always easy to walk away from long-standing friendships or partnerships. But your relationships will affect the rest of your life. If the person you hang around doesn’t share your aspirations, the two of you may be moving in different directions. So, find your power people. Build a strong circle of respect and influence. Once you’ve found your circle, collaborate, network, and raise each other up. Because a powerful group will accomplish more than one powerful person ever could.
3. Project Confidence
Without confidence, no one is going to trust the things you say or respect the things you do. Because leadership requires self-assurance and self-belief. Even if you don’t have all the answers, you need to trust in your judgment and your instincts. You need to believe you’re doing your best in every situation; otherwise, your power will crumble. Because people can tell when you aren’t sure of yourself. When you’re overwhelmed by insecurities, people begin looking to other people for leadership.
That’s why the third rule of psychological power is this: project confidence everywhere you go. Be sure of yourself. Make the best decisions you can, and trust that those decisions will take you in a positive direction. Now, I’m not saying you need to have all the answers. In some situations, you may be running in the dark. But even when you’re unsure, prove to the people around you that you believe in your ability to figure things out. That confidence will inspire others to take your side, even if you have no idea what you’re doing.
4. Mental Fitness
Psychological power hinges on something called mental fitness. Mental fitness is your brain’s ability to manage itself. For example, someone with strong mental fitness can overcome and cope with negative emotions. That way, those emotions do not negatively impact their lives or reputations. So, how do you build mental fitness? Building mental fitness is a lot like building physical fitness. It takes continuous practice and effort to maintain a positive relationship with your habits, emotions, and psychological well-being. But if you want to gain psychological power, you need to keep your head in order and your emotions in check. Because your strong mindset is the foundation on which you build power, influence, and social success.
5. Courageous Demands
Are you a people-pleaser? Are you afraid to say no? People-pleasers struggle to stand up for their goals, needs, and aspirations. When someone asks for a favor, they compromise their needs to cater to the needs of others. In some cases, this is charitable and kind, but people-pleasers give to others, not because they’re altruistic, but because they’re afraid to say no. If you want to gain psychological power, you need to stand up for yourself. If you’re unable to defend your own priorities, people will walk all over you. No one will listen to you because you don’t have the strength to vocalize your needs.
Luckily, people-pleasing is a bad habit anyone can break. It takes time and effort, but you can set stronger, healthier boundaries and defend your priorities. You can gain psychological power and learn how to say no, but first, you need the courage to stand up for yourself. Stop worrying about how many people like you, because no matter how you try, you’re never going to please everyone. You may not feel comfortable disappointing people, but it’s a fact of life. Your decisions will always negatively affect someone, so instead of worrying about their needs… worry about your own. Be strong, courageous, and a little bit selfish. Because a “no” gets you more respect than a “yes” ever will.
6. Be Honest
Do you trust yourself? Most people don’t. Most people undermine every decision they make. They don’t trust or believe in themselves, because, deep down, they’re afraid, to be honest. Not with others, but with themselves. Most people would rather lie to themselves than face the honest truth. But that’s where psychological power comes from. You gain confidence, ambition, and motivation by digging deep and figuring out who you really are. That means asking yourself difficult questions.
It means pushing yourself beyond your emotional comfort zone and identifying your weaknesses. Because no matter what those weaknesses are, you can grow and improve. You can become a stronger individual. But first, you need to challenge your emotions and identify your flaws. In other words, you need to be honest with yourself. Otherwise, that trust… will always be broken.
7. Find Solutions
How often do you complain about your life? When something goes wrong, do you wallow in your misfortunes… or do you search for a solution? The most influential leaders maintain a solution-based mindset. In other words, when something doesn’t go their way, they don’t waste your time dwelling on mistakes and missed opportunities.
They don’t complain about all the little things they could have done. Instead, they fix their mistakes, learn from their failures, and make progress toward their goals. Powerful people are not interested in rewriting history. They are focused on what comes next. And that mindset gives them psychological power. Because no one can alter the past, but with the right mindset, you can always affect your future.
8. Powerful Language
How you speak heavily influences the person you show the world. In fact, the language you choose dramatically impacts the meaning people gather from your words. The same sentences said in two different ways can create polar opposite reactions in the same group of people. So, to make yourself more powerful in any environment, be mindful of the language you use.
For example, the active voice is much more commanding than the passive voice. The active voice makes you the subject of any situation, which implies power and authority. The passive voice, on the other hand, makes you the object, which implies a lack of control. The same can be said for positive and negative language. Positive language creates a happier, more inspiring message, while negative language evokes unsatisfying emotions. Of course, it’s not always easy to choose every word that comes out of your mouth. But if you slow down, think carefully, and keep it simple, you can communicate psychological power every time you speak.
9. Relinquish Control
Many people who crave power and control force their agenda on anyone they can. Think about managers constantly looking over your shoulder or coworkers who refuse to share or collaborate. This self-centered approach may seem like a good way to get things done, but every time you micromanage someone else… you’re communicating distrust.
In other words, by failing to delegate your work, you’re telling the people around you that they are not good enough. Instead of teaching or inspiring people, you’re decreasing their motivation and discouraging their independence. So, take a step back. Delegate your work, and trust other people to deliver. Because good leaders don’t tackle every challenge on their own. They gain power and influence by building trust with the people in their corner.
10. Know Your Worth
Do you know your worth? Or do you depend on others to define your value? In our society, too many people determine their worth by listening to the opinions and criticisms of others. You need people to like you, otherwise, you can’t like yourself. But that’s not the way a powerful person thinks. Self-worth is an intrinsic process. In other words, it’s something you decide for yourself. It’s your job to understand your value because the world will always try to bring you down.
There will always be critics trying to lower your self-esteem. If you let them, these people will drive your self-worth into the ground. So, if you want to gain psychological power, ignore the people who try to hurt you. Build thicker skin. Develop a strong sense of self. Accomplish goals and make yourself proud. Because taking a position of power means exposing yourself to social criticism. The more criticism you can take, the better you’ll fare at the top of the ladder.
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